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My Autoblogography

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[21 Jan 2008|12:58pm]
i think Dolly Parton and Marilyn Manson have the same birthday. If it's not the same day, it's maybe a day apart.

Next year, I am planning a joint party for both of them in my apartment. Please comment with other people i should invite/food i should serve/activities i should plan/decoration suggestions.
4 midnight suns| explain the silver rain

[06 Jan 2007|10:57am]
listen up, friends. (amanda, take special note!)


(students ride nj transit for free again, Jan 22-28th
2 midnight suns| explain the silver rain

sundays are painful [10 Dec 2006|02:24pm]
i set up my PC in my room finally, mostly so I could listen to Shakira. I found this file from two years ago during conference season that cracked me up, but at the time I thought it was too embarrassing to actually post. And, as I stayed up til 6am yesterday and got up at 10, and will probably be staying up Monday and Tuesday as well, I thought the timing would be appropriate.
Time line of events for my all-nighter (as told through away messages):

“i'll be giving you all detailed updates on my progress (digress??) as i stay up all night doing work. (check back every few seconds! that's how often i'll be updating!):”

9:08pm: just drew sprinkles on the cupcakes i painted on my wall at 7pm.
9:14pm: just painted over sprinkles on one because they were too close together. maybe i'll do a little work while i wait for it to dry!
10:22pm: finished my ECC journal. have to pee, but won't tinkle until I draw the sprinkles!
11:56pm: have corrected the first page of conference paper. Have eaten 3 cupcakes, 1/3 a bag of popcorn, a handful of peanuts, 2 red hot blue corn chips, and a pita with hummus. Am in the film-editing room of the visual arts building. Had to change screensaver on keidera’s computer to come on every 10 minutes instead of every minute, because it kept coming on. (clearly, I spend a lot of time sitting staring at the screen.)
12:28am: discovered new excellent lil kim song – “Big Mama Thang”
12:65am: took Michael Jackson dance break. While looking at my bright yellow socks, I began having a crisis over forgetting what a duck’s feet are called. “waddlers” is my favorite one that I came up with, but I know that’s not what they’re really called. Fuck! Mouth is to bill as foot is to ____....WHAT THE EFF?!??!??!?!
2:50am: back in room. 8 pages done.
2:52am: in re-reading this away message, realized i logged something at "12:65am". it's going to be a long night.
3:15am: just now opened my paper on my computer, have been talking on AIM whole time
3:41am: just now actually started LOOKING AT my paper.
4:32am: actually stop talking on aim and start concentrating on paper. Am starting to sweat a lot
4:37am: can hear birds start to chirp. Want to rip their heads off with my teeth and paint cupcakes on my walls with their blood!
5:33am: it’s getting light outside! 3 more pages to go! About to eat the cupcakes off the wall!
5:55am: realize i don't know how to spell Scheherazade's sister's name. realize Ogunyemi will probably refuse to read my paper if I misspell it. Gulp.
6:41am: PAPER FINISHED!!!!! Don’t think I’ll allow myself to urinate until the bibliography is also done, though.
7:07am: just finished tediously changing each footnote to an end note. Waiting for paper to print again. This log has lost any and all fun it may have possessed when it started.
7:27am: abruptly stopped reading livejournal – I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE I WAS DOING IT!
7:43am: time to leak the lizard!!!
7:45am: while peeing, an ant crawled OUT of the toilet and moseyed about, just inches from my helpless inner thigh!
8:38am: finished art project and presentation for Lorayne’s class!! Done all work due tomorrow!! Should I sleep now, or bake coffee cake??
9:20am: might as well take a shower
9:41am: i'll just watch the shawshank redemption naked for a little
10:53am: tom called and told me a hilarious story
10:55am: leave for class
6:27pm: still haven’t slept!!!!
1 midnight sun| explain the silver rain

hand to god: [28 Nov 2006|12:07am]
[ mood | angel balls ]

i ate sweet potatoes with that peanut butter and co. white chocolate peanut butter on top, warmed up. trust me, it's good.

1 midnight sun| explain the silver rain

omg omg omg omg [12 Nov 2006|10:02pm]
[ mood | depeche mood ]

BEST idea for a shirt:


then it has a picture of a heart farting!!!!!!!!!!!!!

feel free to design that for me for my birthday.

2 midnight suns| explain the silver rain

next motherfucker's gonna get my metal [01 Nov 2006|10:44am]
i am so
i went to bed mad,
and now i am even
kill-time mad.
explain the silver rain

celebrity sightings [06 Oct 2006|09:41pm]
i do't know WHY i didn't write about this when it happened. but now i HAVE to, because it happened again.
slow down lizzie, slow!

a couple weeks ago, i saw
(of Strangers with Candy) on the subway. (If you must know, he was getting on the Bklyn-bound R at Atlantic Ave -- just like me!) I guess there was some doubt in my mind as to whether it was him or not. But I really for really real think it was.

Anyway, today. I was on the Bklyn-bound F...and who should be on my subway car but...
(also of Strangers with Candy fame).
It's like the world is really coming up roses!

Now, if I chance to see Amy Sedaris on the subway, I really will soil myself. (she would love that.)
2 midnight suns| explain the silver rain

[25 Sep 2006|10:54pm]
[ mood | god my bladder's full ]

my lesson today actually went well. shouldn't that mean that i don't ever have to do one again?

so i can't sleep anymore. my mattress is unsleepable. it's like sleeping on a pile of car parts covered in dog hair. also, i have too much to do so sleeping is out anyway. and the fact that with every minute passes, i can see my sanity ticking away gives me intense sleep anxiety, which revves me up and contributes to the unsleeping.

1 midnight sun| explain the silver rain

aching to pupate [23 Sep 2006|12:35pm]
anyone want to see regina spektor with me next week? it's wed, the 27th. i really shouldn't go but i will if you go with me!

edit: it's actually thursday the 28th. or maybe both days? whatever, thursday is only slightly better for me. but i still really want to go, Friend!
3 midnight suns| explain the silver rain

Dear Lizzie [08 Sep 2006|07:13pm]
Roommate advice:

If you are having trouble shitting because the bathroom door doesn't lock and you're scared one of your roommates will burst in unexpectedly, fear not! No need to have to say "Go away, I'm pooping" and risk embarassment; just yell out "I'm masturbating!" If they respond by saying "Do that in your room, other people need to use the toilet", you can just yell out "BUT THAT'S NOT MY FETISH!"
Thanks, Pat!
2 midnight suns| explain the silver rain

too precious not to mention [24 Aug 2006|09:27pm]
today amanda and i bathed three guinea pigs and then i towel-dried them individually.
you don't know how sorry i am that there aren't pictures.
explain the silver rain

[18 Aug 2006|05:07pm]
i'm having a bryant park internet session because my apartmentnet isn't working and i needed to get out of the house because earlier today i had a wall-in-room-with-no-windows-painting session that could not be continued because i don't have a ladder or an extension handle for my paint roller thing and when i went to the paint store down the street it was closed at 2pm on a friday. i didn't have any idea what to do then, so i just bought pickles. i just rediscovered pickles this summer and i am seriously in love with them. they are a perfect summer snack. when i am sweaty and dying from death heat, i like to come home and inhale a few sandwich strips of kosher dills -- it cools you RIGHT down! i guess that's how i'll be getting my vegetables for the remainder of august and the warm parts of september. there are only a few short pickleweeks left!!!!! but guess what? my gas is back on in my apartment, although it hasn't been on yet in the two weeks that i've lived there so i don't think the word "back" applies to me but STILL!!! i'm going to make fuckin peanut butter heath bar blondies as soon as i'm home and not drunk. and then maybe i'll make some oatmeal cookies, just in case i eat all the peanut butter things by myself this weekend while i'm catsitting upstairs. oh yeah, i'm catsitting for some people upstairs that i've never met and i'm getting paid in beer, tv, air conditioning, and feline love (yikes, that sounded so dirty and i'm really yikesing because i LIKED that dirty sound.)

i'm having peepark syndrome.
2 midnight suns| explain the silver rain

this year, i'd like to: [16 Aug 2006|01:20am]
- practice my guitar (AKA actually learn how to play that shit)
- bone up on my spanish (i need to figure out an effective way of doing this)
- learn how to knit sweaters
- come up with a good, original master's project
- love brooklyn
explain the silver rain

what is my life? [13 Aug 2006|01:14pm]
last night i went drunkmoonswimming during the meteor shower in the ocean at the jersey shore and ate all this sand. actually the sand was in the beer. i fell asleep on the ride home and woke up coughing because i think the sand was in my lungs but now it just feels like it's in the back of my throat. it was really fun and now it's sad. i am beginning to think moving to new york was a big mistake.
2 midnight suns| explain the silver rain

the bullest of shits [07 Aug 2006|06:13pm]
[ mood | want to smash something ]

has come to pass, more or less.

explain the silver rain

BE MY ROOMMATE, YOU JERK [17 Jul 2006|12:05am]
i sent out like 16 responses to apartment ads today. the best one i saw was for a houseboat in the bronx!
but anyway

DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO NEEDS A ROOMMATE? i need to move in august 1, maybe sooner. seriously, even if the person is nuts i don't care, as long as she/he is relatively clean.
explain the silver rain

i don't want to sound like a traitor to my generation and all, but john stewart isn't that funny [07 Jul 2006|01:06am]
isn't it cool that our internet got fixed, so you can see how i spend my two weeks off this summer?
i spent my evening: watching rubbish and revamping four shirts that had serious pit stains. i tried to sell them to beacon's closet yesterday, but apparently they weren't buying skunky old t shirts that day. whatever, i made ten bucks there. i am making a sex shirt -- HALTER top! i already own two that i never wear due to shame, i can't wait to have a third! i made a practical shirt -- no cleavage showing, which is great for hanging out with two year olds as boobs freak them out. then i'm making one mid-range slut shirt -- i'm thinking rouching. but i don't know how to spell it, because i think elizabeth hasselback made that word up. (ps -- HOW did that bitch ever get onto The View? ok, here's how you get on a boring THREE HOUR tv show -- have NO personality and be on a boring gross show on the style channel. also, have a stupid last name, then get married and have a worst one. wow, i sound really catty. what the cat? i don't even care about her. she's hot.)

seriously, i can't cook. i am an awful cook. i can bake, but i have no fucking idea what else to do in the kitchen. i love to cook, but actually eating the science projects i slop together is a different story. although, i've been trying to cook dairy-free, which usually means disgusting. i could easily make delicious things with goat cheese.

did y'all see the strangers with candy movie yet?
2 midnight suns| explain the silver rain

[06 Jul 2006|07:44pm]
i feel like such an adult, i went out for a meal yesterday AND today. and then i spent $35 mostly on bathroom and kitchen cleaning supplies. and i was excited about it! liz, you're crazy.
my stomach is so fucked and i'm reading The Omnivore's Dilemma, which is making me really scared to eat any food that I don't grow myself. (note: this could be a problem, as i don't grow anything. although, i have started prepping the flower beds on the terrace. as soon as i can get laurieloo to come to home depot with me and carry shit, i'll be ready to start some plantin'. so i can eat peonies and basil for the rest of the summer!) (barf) i think i'm going to go on some hastily-researched detox diet to cleanse the ol' pipes. as i've mentioned before, i'd like a nice pink colon.

so i have another like 9 or 10 days off before i start babysitting like a servant fool again and then have class like an ass. feel free to have fun with me at all hours.
explain the silver rain

[03 Jul 2006|01:30am]
god my niece is so big! i can't wait to see her in a couple of weeks!!!!
2 midnight suns| explain the silver rain

[28 Jun 2006|12:26am]
[ mood | croatian sensation ]

oh no! i saw him again today! and i KNEW it was him from a block away. just from the t-shirt. from now on, dark green t-shirts drive me crazy. i feel like if i don't do something about this situation on thursday morning, i might be letting my life slip through my fingers?!!? what do i do though? do i trip him while crossing the street? do boys like romantic violence like that?

on my way home today, i saw some of his collegues -- they were wearing the dark green plumbing company t-shirts. i got way too excited when i saw them, but my swarthilicious little guy was nowhere to be found. i might walk down 86th street at 7am every day for the rest of my life for Ol' Curly Mouth!

1 midnight sun| explain the silver rain

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